Allow me to apologize to you for luring you into my article with such a controversial title. You see, the truth is that I could not think of a better way to get your attention other than by pushing a certain button.
Also, I do not think I could come up with one single reason why being skinny is better than not being skinny. On the other hand, I could go on and on about the many different reasons why being skinny growing up sucked big time. Yes, you read that right—I could complain on and on about why being skinny sucked.
Do I sound like the lottery winner complaining about winning the lottery?
Before you pass any judgment on why anyone in their right mind would think that fitting the ideal image of a woman would hate to fit that idea, hear me out. Because despite what you think, it does not change the fact that I too grew up in a world where not fitting the idea of beauty that is spoon fed to us through the media meant growing up disliking my body image.
Skinny or curvaceous, we have more in common than you have ever thought.
I will not complain about growing up skinny—or growing up “skin and bones”. I will not feed into the very same negative self-image that I was a victim to for many years. The one thing I will complain about, however, is the pervasive insecurity in our culture that puts down other people in order to feel better about whom you are.
That’s right. Every single time you like that status update or retweet that photo that claims that “real women have curves” you are feeding into the very same cycle of hate you think you are breaking. And quite honestly, it hurts me to read that you would deny me, a skinny woman, of my womanhood just because you are insecure about your own.
It hurts me because I feel your pain.
Because skinny or thick, in our current self-hating society, we’re f*cked either way.
A moment of brutal honesty:
If you have to attack another woman’s body image out of your own insecurity, then you better get your self-esteem in check and learn to love yourself more.
About a month ago I came across this little gem by Chelsea Fagan on ThoughtCatalog.com in which she humorously exposed the great human potential that drunken women have—and I could not agree with her even more.
In her article, Chelsea talks about the reality of the everyday sober woman. She is catty and judgmental of other women—if only because they pose a major threat to her own insecurities about her self-image. This is a reality in which “look at what she’s wearing, she looks like a slut” is far more common a dialogue between women nowadays than “wow, she’s really pretty”.
“We protect ourselves, and what we perceive to be our social value, by being fearful and threatened by the value of other women… When drunk, we feel the euphoria of realizing that all of our greatness can co-exist and enhance one another, and we deserve to feel it all the time”—Chelsea Fagan.
Of course, Chelsea is not encouraging you to walk around in a constant state of drunken stupor. Her article is simply food for thought. So go on and read Women Are At Their Best While Drunk.
I love loving me and I want you to feel the same way.
You and I, we have been lied to all of our lives. We have been told that we have to look like the girls in the magazines and TV. We have been taught to plaster toxic chemicals on our face to look prettier; to inflict pain on ourselves with tweezers and hot wax to fit in; and that our body will never be good enough.
Let me put it to you like this: I am a real woman! I am naturally skinny, I eat like a pig (no offense to pigs here, I love pigs, especially swimming pigs) and after many years of wanting to gain weight so I would fit in I have finally learned to love myself and my body just the way it is. I am tired of comparing myself to other women or being what others want me to be or look like. And I love it!!!
So I raise this glass of merlot to you, to your daughters, to your sisters, and to your mothers. And here is to self-love, and loving your body just the way it is, cherishing who you are just the way you are. Here is to looking at another woman and honoring her womanhood, whether she is thick or thin, curvy or slender, tall or short. Here is to a sisterhood of women.
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