Better relationships. We see them, we want them, we lack them.
Relationships are the currency of our world and we all want better relationships—whether you live in a capitalist, socialist, or communist society, relationships amongst human beings are what makes the world go round. Even if you are a loner like I am, having healthy, happy, and meaningful relationships is simply a fact of life. It is human nature, after all, to seek to fit in; and it is relationships in our early years of life that shape part of who we are to become.
Why then, do we struggle so much to find the desired meaning and satisfaction that we believe relationships ought to provide us with?
How can I have better relationships?
Have you ever asked yourself…
– Why do I have such few friends?
– Why haven’t I met my soul mate?
– And, if I’ve already met my soul mate, why is our relationship falling apart?
The truth is that there is no straightforward answer to these questions.
The good news? To answer these questions for yourself there is something you can do! If you are experiencing difficulties around relationships, then a shift in perspective may be overdue if you want to see some change and improvement for better relationships.
Here are three fundamental shifts in perspective you have to go through in order to create healthier, happier, more meaningful, and ultimately better relationships:
1. Better relationships require that you have to love yourself first.
When you do not love yourself first, you cannot bring your best qualities to the relationship you are seeking. Loving yourself means that you are able to love and accept yourself fully. It means that you don’t sweep your flaws under the carpet, but rather that you love and accept yourself unconditionally.
More importantly, it means that you value who you are and your contribution to the relationships you are in. Think of it this way, if I were to ask you to write 10 positive and 10 negative qualities about yourself, which list would you finish faster? If you finish the former list first, congratulations, you are on your way to having better and better relationships. If you finished the latter list first, then not to worry, now you know that it is time to change the way you think about yourself.
Own what makes you who you are and honor both your strengths and your weaknesses. Always remember that your relationships are a mirror of who you are, so if you want better relationships, a better you is in order.
2. Better relationships require that you have to give the gift of meaning.
One of my favorite prayers is the Saint Francis of Assisi’s prayer. In it, Saint Francis asks God to grant that he “not so much seek to be loved as to love, for it is in giving that we receive.” I love this quote so much because it speaks about our willingness to first give that which we wish to receive.
When we love ourselves, it is much easier to give from a place of abundance because your cup is overflowing with self-love. When you are coming from a place of love and abundance so your cup is overflowing, people intuitively notice that and want to be around you. On the other hand, when you are coming from a place of fear or anger, you attract more of that onto you and you automatically repel the healthy relationships you are seeking. In these situations I like to ask myself “how can I bring more love into this situation/relationship?”
Basically what I want to challenge you to do is to be a better friend for the sake of better relationships. Instead of expecting others to fulfill your needs, how about bringing your best self forward without expectation?
3. Better relationships require that you focus on greatness.
A wise soul once told me: “Greatness… believe that every one you talk to is great… see what happens.”
If you have ever heard of the word “Namaste” then you already understand this idea of focusing on the “greatness” in others. If you have never heard of the word, Namaste is basically a salutation in which you are telling the other person that you honor the light within them. It is a beautiful vow to the greater Self in others.
But how often do we really see what is good in others?
More often than not we chose to focus on what we think is wrong with other people—the argument you had with them two weeks ago, that one thing they said that, in your eyes, put into question their morals. Focusing on others’ shortcomings is actually counterproductive in creating better relationships because people want to feel good about themselves, and they will seek to hang around those who make them feel good.
What would happen if you chose to forgive others’ shortcomings and focused instead on what is good in them? I challenge you to make “Namaste” a daily practice… see what happens.
Tweet this: I bow to the light within you
Better relationships take work
I don’t know about you, but I can’t imagine a life without the most fundamental relationships in my life. I am in deep need of those around me. All I know is that I value the people in my life tremendously and I want nothing but the best for them. For that reason I have made the commitment to myself to better myself and bring my best qualities into my relationships.
So if you want to improve and find more meaning and satisfaction in your relationships, realize that having “better relationships” starts with you. And with this realization comes the question: why not shift your perspective on the current relationships in your life?
Ask yourself, how can I have better relationships?
Do you have any other ides of how you have improved your relationships in the past? Please share your experiences in the comments below!
And here is to long-lasting, magnificent friendships!
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